Wednesday, August 31, 2005

good things come in pairs

okies, took off the whole chunk of all the personality tests and stuffs.....before ppl think its some test site. haha....

yipeee......just cleaned up 1/4 of my room.....my mum has been complaining lah...okie...i shall give you guys a little glimpse of my room before cleaning...haha...yes i know....been really busy and stressed up and stuffs....


are you guys ready????



there....here it is.....

its actually not too bad.....right??? well, at least i find this pretty neat.....


my newly bought magazine holder from IKEA~!!! well, i bought the plain white ones cos 1. its cheaper. 2. i can decorate it~!!! i know its a little ugly lah......but what to do when the ink smudges when i write on it....i had to use colour pencil in the end to write those module codes....please tell me its nice...

what is this? the invitation card to Closet Affair by NUSSU bizcom....pretty much a flop...at least for me....dint get to buy anything decent. nothing much to buy in fact. in the end, i went out empty handed after digging and snatching for 1.5 hours. hope the vanity fair will be much better. waiting for vanity fair. please do not disappoint me....stila.......im counting on u....

good things come in pairs.......

mane 'n tail shampoo and conditioner....wooo hooo...did u know this shampoo can be used on both humans and animals? not mine....i bought the deep moisturizing one...but the normal one can be used on both human and animal~! http://www.manentail.com/ how cute is that~! jennifer aniston uses this too~! how cool is that~~! hope my hair will grow as nice as hers~! my mum feels funny. cos she says its like using animal stuffs.....and i will be smelling like an animal.....haha.....

second good thing which comes in pairs~! nestle yogurt drink~!!! yum yum~! wanted to buy the kiwi one...but no more.....(but i bought 10 kiwis anyway.....heehee) i love kiwis! eva~! they are selling it at 2 for $4+ at ntuc~!!! go grab it before its too late~! haha....


satisfied day today....although not really happy cos of my wasted trip to school...

i have this new habit....taking self portrait...kekeke....well, i know i used to take self portrait with my hp last time...but ever since it spoilt.....never really got down to taking photos! then i managed to get hold of my daddy's old camera.....wooohooooo....*snap*snap*snap* although the memory card is like only 32MB.....must get the 2GB one during comex~!!!!!! i would love to buy a new camera....but.....$$$$$$$....if i were to get, i think i want a decent one...not those ulu brand one....so i think for now, this 3.2 mega pix camera would suffice....:)


yes, laugh all u like....and i know some pic i act cool/cute. but dont i look oh-so-pretty??? i know self praise is no praise....but heck lah....im happy with myself~! happiness is what that matters~! and i love my hair~! so long and nice....especially after nicely taming it....which im lazy to do that everyday. but rebonding my hair is not an option. dont wish to kill my hair no more. but dyeing it....hmmm...let me give it some thought....shall i perm it~?! although i know it wont suit me.....but like ive said, happiness is what that matters~! and as much as i love my long hair now, its hard to maintain and its high maintainence. shampoo and conditioner costs aint really that cheap u know..... and as i have weak hair....i need a good shampoo and conditioner. and still have to apply cream and essence to my hair...then drying it is a chore. it takes forever to dry. so im left with no choice but to blow dry it. which harms my hair....which means ive to spend more $$ and effort maintaining it....see!! its not easy maintaining long hair~! but i love my hair length now. no longer, no shorter.

ok.....enough whinning....time for my beauty sleep...

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Happy Birthday Mervieeeeee


let me blog about what i did today~! first, MERV, me, amy, eva, jiali met up early for KTV at cine~! but obviously i was late again.....but a promise is a promise and although i was 1hr late.....i still went~! see~! i never pang seh~! hahaha.......well, had fun...although i dint manage to sing till my heart's content. but nevertheless, did manage to sing. been wanting and craving to go ktv~!!!! and for once, Miss Lee a.k.a Miss beautiful a.k.a ME LAH~!, brought the old lousy camera~! hahaha....managed to capture the moment~! but looking at the pics, makes me wanna buy new camera!!! but i guess cant be greedy....this 3.2 mega pix camera will suffice...but girls, dont kill me if the photo turned out blur.....especially merv's pic. cos i dint on the flash. the cake looks nicer without the flash anyway....


-me-amy-eva-jiali-
(okie...we look a little tired already)

-amy-eva-jiali-merv-
(merv looks smart with his glasses~!! hahaha.... and amy, who likes candid shot, is trying to be candid by opening her mouth.....-_- haha)

me looking like a ghost.....tired lah...woke up so early and rushed down to cine..hahahaha

after KTV, we walked down to PS for our manhatten fishie food~!!!! met jenn, jimmy and charles there....GORDON PANG SEH US~!!!!! cos he says the food there is not too fantastic and he had a bad experience at PS the other time he ate there....haha. ermmmm......wont say the food there is fantastic. but service-wise, i shall give 1 thumb up. cos the staff there brought us knife and even offered to take photos without even us asking. initiative is what i call that! but i almost fell when i walked in~! cos there were water all over the place and it made the floor slippery~! and my slippery slippers almost gave way~! haha

-amy-eva-jiali-
(eva, although her eyes closed, looks very blissful and happy. haha)

-cake-
(wooooo....dont the cake look nice with the nice dry ice around it? merv was supposed to blow it to make it have the cloudy effect. but obviously he did a bad job~! hahaha... poor merv had to go buy his own cake cos we now have this new policy of buy-your-own-birthday-cake. its a no-more-surprise policy after amy and her demanding for a birthday cake on her birthday~! haha...........)

-cake with candles-
(hahahaha....dont the whole cake on dry ice concept look nice?? some sort like wedding??? kekekeke)

-amy's hand with dry ice in water-
(we had fun playing with dry ice in water~!!!! so cool~!!!!)

-3 cups of dry ice in water-
(looks so pretty!!!! doesnt it look like fuming mickey mouse? hahaha....)

-cake-
okies.....back to merv's party....yeah...happy birthday to him...happy birthday to merv, happy birthday to mervieeeeeeeeee, happy birthday to you~! hahaha.... merv had to force everyone to sing him his birthday song~! buay paiseh~! hahaha...cos we all dint wanna sing lah...so sien of singing birthday songs~! we have been singing it once every week....its like a weekly routine...hahaha...

-merv, with jimmy ??-
(our guys, being gay as usual, decided to gay around...so jimmy gave merv a birthday kisss...*mUacks*)


shy merv was sooo sooo happy, he just couldnt stop giggling~!!! wonder what charles was doing? sulking at one corner??? hahaha... before they got too intimate, we forced them to cut the cake.....

We tried......


and tried....

is merv really that delicious??? LET ME TRY~!!!!!

haha.....conclusion. merv dont taste nice.....lets just cut the cake~!


-knife-
the friendly staff there brought this super huge knife......woooo....like some chopper like that~!!

-amy with knife-
( amy got soooo hungry that she just grabbed the knife and charged at the cake~!!!! look how "scared" eva is...haha...joking lah....i asked amy to pose with the knife. cos the knife was so humongous. )


-merv preparing to cut his cake-

-merv trying to cut his cake-

-weak merv trying VERY HARD to cut his cake-

-jiali cutting the cake-
alright, better let mummy jiali do the job. hahaha......she is always the cake cutter at all our birthdays. seee~!!!!! GIRLS ARE BETTER THAN GUYS!!!!


yeah....here is our group photo~! mervie, who wants to differentiate himself as the birthday boy, is wearing this stoopid hat i folded for him~! muhahahaha...aint he cutttteeee?~! hahaha........nice pic...but charles was hiding behind merv......so we took another pic...

okie....all faces can be seeen.....hahaha......after chit chatting and chit chatting and making a din, we finally walked out.....oh~!! btw, amy looks nice in this pic~!!!!!! hahaha.....

we walked and walked around......and saw this hip hop group dancing.....one of the guy looks soooooooo much like hamzah~! his mannerism and all~! but too far to see clearly....so i cant confirm. but he wasnt dancing too well. but his dance steps are similar to hamzah.....*confused* but anyway, even if it was him, there is nothing i can do. not as if he knew me or something. just excited to see him...hahaha...miss him and his dance classes.....

so tired........my whole day was wasted like tat....i wanna go eat watermelon gelato~! think the next time i see it, i go buy 1 tub.....*greedy girl* hahahaha....that probable sums up today~! adios folks~!

P/S: the photos are uploaded at: http://community.webshots.com/user/leejoojoo so if u wanna kop, can go webshots to kop. but most of the photos are up here....:) and some photos are kop-ed from amy~! haha.....feel free to kop from her too~!!!!

Thursday, August 25, 2005

white is boring...

zzzzzz...white is so boring......its time i change my blog template~! hahaha...provided im not lazy enough. well, thinking of changing it to my all time fav colour.....YELLOW~!!!!hahaha......but i bet its gonna be pretty sien after a few weeks.

im supposed to be planning my presentation tomorrow....i did plan~! but its like super long~! i have super lots of things to say and i like exceeded 3 mins~!!! grrrrr.......i think im gonna be a real embarazment tomorrow....thats ju kyung for you~! always doing silly things at important times.....potato chips takes so yucky when eaten alone.....i remember it tasting superlicious when i ate it with my friends. conclusion: bad food taste nice with great company and good food taste horrid with no company. haha....

back to my presentation.....my try to talk less...hahaha....

oh yah~! i learnt how to make tissue paper rose in lecture today. lecture today was helleuv fun~! dint even listen to the lecturer for the last 1 hr....cos its really hard listening to him. think of elangovan ( did i spell his name right?) haha........ and jimmy and his dumb frog which doesnt jumps but flips over...haha....

and the peanut butter kitkat taste goooood.....if u like mnm's peanut butter , then u will most prob like this new kitkat flavour. kinda my thing...:P fattening i know...haha.....

TGIF~!!!!! but friday only means one thing......after the weekend, it will be another week. i am a total pessimist. haha.....and my study plan is not going tooo well. been slacking still....

i think this blog is so boring and inactive....guess going public is better after all...makes my life more interesting. afterall, im an attention seeker...kekekeke....^^

KL anyone?

i want to get out of singapore. have a retreat or some sort. just relax by the beach. or just shop like mad with no stress, no pressure, no school work bugging me.

sooooosoooo stressed. my presentation. well, i decided not to do any powerpoint but to just talk for 3 mins.....i timed myself, i was talking rubbish. hahaha....hope it goes well. and my tutorialz. sheet`! cant even do them. its pretty demoralizing...and all these stuffs really really demoralizes u and makes u not want to study.

and i have no ideas but why does guys like to frigging piss me off? cant they be more sensible and sensitive? girls arent farking commodities and we dont deserve to be treated like ()*&*^$#$^%&^*(*. okies, im feeling vulgar today. hahaha....KNNCCBKPKB~! *breathes.....such a loser.....im so so irritated~! grrrrrrrr...........

side tracking...this song is soooo cute. jiali sent it to me long long time ago....oh my gosh....hahaha....so cute....oh my gosh...he's making eyes at me.....lalalala

who wants to go SEP with me to canada? i am foreseeing a lonely me trying to adapt to a new environment....:( the thoughts scare me...what if i get sick? what if i die there? no one will find out.....my body will rot.....*touch wood*

today's hiphop....alittle draggy.. i dunno...i felt very uncomfortable with my nose. it was malfunctioning...haha...and my pants were hard to dance in.. must really go get a nice trackpants. preferably adidas.....and my new shoe....yeah....then i can wear my trackpants and shoe in canada~!

darn me....i eat too much when im stressed~! i when i eat, i eat junk food...i ate a packet of chips and crunchie choco choco~! i hear my fats growing....so disgusting....my mummy gave the *tsk*tsk* look....hmph~!

why is everyone talking about the jue dui superstar? its like....nothing leh....ok lah...cos i missed it. but it was getting a little draggy.....but indeed i teared when i hear the weilian first sang. but tat was like a few weeks/months back. and i think it was kinda pity yet encourage but his courage and dreams. a funny heart-warming feeling. but if we are looking for an idol......alright, i think singapore should support weilian. at least he is someone extraordinary. something new.

ipod mini looks so cute....so tempted to buy. but i know i wont really use it if i buy it....it will probably end up like my md.....rejected and dejected. why did i even buy one in the first place? COS MY SIS HAS IT...I ALSO HAFTA HAVE IT! hahaha...see how childish and selfish i am? well, im the smallest in my family mah....and in my paternal side, im the youngest too~! so i get lots of doting...until my cousin got married and popped out a son......grrrrr......steal away all my attention...but i love my nephew.....his name is KYUNG JUN...similar to my name eh? haha...oppo of my name....haha...:)

okies...its getting late....time for my beauty sleep.....my pimples are reacting again~! no idea why. anyone has any good pimple cream to intro? i know biotherm one is not bad but ex......any better ones? dont intro me body shop one~! its frigging doesnt work~! hahaha.....

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

my final decision

yes, fickle-minded joo cant even make a proper decision. but hell yeah, this time, this decision is final! on my part, that is. i still hafta see if my partner university is willing to accept me. and with my horrible caps, still not sure if things are going to work out will. but my ME SEP coordinator seem like a nice guy. i kept bugging him for help and signing of forms. and he also reminded me to study hard cos of my lousy CAP. how humiliating is that~! its like im this super lousy student who thinks she can make it for SEP. haha...but i stuck up my head and i told myself that i will study hard although studying is not all.

thanks to those who helped me make my decision. you guys made me see things from different perspective and i promise not to rethink about my decision. kill me if i change. my money-wise...i think it will be quite taxing on my parents. but my dad wants me to be independent and he keeps bugging me to stay in hall...which i so so will not experience that again. once bitten, twice shy. hopefully SEP wont be such a bad experience.i think the whole SEP thinggie will cost like $10k? moreover i still hafta pay my NUS school fees. and its alittle more ex than singaporean students. $$$$$...sometimes i wish im this super rich rich kid who has no worries regarding $$ issues. like buy whatever i want, do whatever i want, have credit cards ( under my parents)... hahaha...so apt~! the gwen stef song RICH GIRL is blasting in the background. see what media does to u~?! makes u subconsiously think the way they want u to think. boo them~!

and i was sewing my pants....cos the pocket was a little frayed.....and guess what...i suck at sewing~! hahaha...i kept poking my fingers and i broke the needle...hahaha.....lousy needle~! tsk tsk...dont blame it on me~! its the needle's fault~!

ffffffffffffffaaaaaaakkkkkkieeeeee.....i lost my air con remote~!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just offed the aircon not long ago~! sheet......ok....------goes to find remote------great...it was in my PENCIL CASE...how dumb can i get........grrr...

im like eating non-stop these few days....and if i dont eat...my tummy will ache...hahaha...psychology lah.... i just ate roti mama just now....what is roti mama??? rotiboy's mama lah~! hahaha...ok lah...not too bad....

today, it was a total humilation day......i went for make-up HR classes today...and wow...30mins late....as thou thats not enough....i went to buy coffee and cinamon crossiant during break and guess what~! i spilled the coffee all over the classroom~!!!! and friiiiccking got a shocked and i spilled my notes , then my crossiant~! and great~! i had to use my tissue paper to dab and dab all the coffee clean. this guy was in class watched me....after a while...he just left the class~! i was cursing and cursing inside me....saying how (*&^%$#%^ he is and stuffs.....then he came back with toilet paper for me to clean~!! how sweet and considerate is that~! a knight in shinning armour saving a damsel in distress~! haha....i was so so thankful....but dint have time to thank him properly and look at his face...darn......im such an ingrate. but to whoever he is, thank you so much......*muacKs*

im still amused at the needle i broke....cos i cant find the missing part which broke off...its the 'eye' part...so it shouldnt pose too much of a threat eh?

happy birthday to merv........i drew him a cake on msn...and he just logged off~!!!! so much for his appreciation~! hahaha....i know he got dc or something lah...it better be.....

im being depriveed of exercise~!!!!!!!!!!!! and im eating sooo unhealthy food that i feel so unhealthy.......its like u eat KFC...and then...u feel the oil swimming in your tummy and feel real uncomfortable about it....feel like exercising/ running it off...and the roti mama is swimming in my tummy...really feel like puking....

why issit that i feel like puking whenever i feel like shitting? issit like related in anyway? maybe im eating too much and my stomach is trying to get rid of the food both ways...haha....

wooooo...so many things i wanna buy~! i wanna get a nice decent sports shoe which is versatile enough to wear as a casual shoe... i hate to dress with sports shoe. so hard. saw a nice one....golden one/pink one....and its 69.90....shall i?? or shall i get my lecoqsportif one??haha...and i also need to get my nike dumbells~!! and.....track pants~!!!!!!! hahaha.....stoopid lah.....i think my sajc shorts are enough lah..but its so revealing~! especially when the instructor is standing right infront of u when u are doing crunches etc....

shall i get myself a job?~! wow...as if im not tied down by my school and project and sports buffet.....my mum keeps pushing me all her friends kids to me~! and i already made myself very clear i do not wish to tutor her friend's children~! grrrrrr......

ok...time to sleep...zzzzzz........

Sunday, August 21, 2005

I WILL GIVE UP SEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

argh~!!!!!!!!!! the project thing is in a messs~! i am allocated to the unmanned system ( the one with carol, serene and zul) and argh~! and i e-mailed Ms noor ezah twice regarding the swapping for project~! but she dint even bother~! no replies, no nothing~! and all the design modules e-mails keep streaming in~! all the meeting time and stuffs~! grrrrrrrrr~! so inefficient~! i dont even know who is in the in-house project thing~! i wanted to drop the module and take it another sem but grrrr~! it was tooo late when i found out i was going to SEP~! F***~!@#!@ everything is not frigging going well~!


then this e-mail came and i realized if i take the in-house design module, i will only be doing the theory and paperworks for this sem. and only in next sem( when im frigging in canada) i will get to actually make the car parts~! how great is that~!#@!!@#


i wanted to be involved with the FSAE team....but this isnt the way i wanna be involved in..half-way and learning almost nothing. therefore, thats the reason i dint choose the in-house project in the first place~!!! grrrrrr......

i was so happy with my unmanned project thing. already visualizing what i am going to do and even interacted with my group members~!@#!@ and great~! i have to give up everything.....why??? COS OF SEP~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! which is so so so so so so so last minute~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im angry yet happy for my SEP. and now im stuck at the crossroad where i have to decide which path i should take. go for SEP, and have a cock up project schedule, but learn something (which i dunno what) in canada. or not go for SEP, have the project i like with group memebers i like (which is hard to come by) but missing out on a whole overseas experience. i know both are something which is hard to come by......SEP and nice project with project mates.

all the dateline is on monday~! which is frigging tomorrow....and great my cramps isnt getting any better and im just (*&^%$#$%^&*()*&^%$#@#$%^&**&^%$#$%^& argh`!?@#!?@#?!@ what now~!?@#?!@#?!@# stoopid noor ezah for making me feel this way. stoopid project which for making me feel this way. stoopid SEP for making me feel this way.

fine~! I WILL GIVE UP SEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now that i said it. i feel much lighter and so many things are solved. i dunno if this SEP dream is something that is worth so much of my sacrifices. but i know i want to and want to go on this SEP. its just that too too many considerations and factors. and i, in a haste just disregarded everything.

darn.......and now i cant bear to give it up.....dilemma of every SEP student. to go or not to go.....to be or not to be.....how i wish i can meet some wise sage or even better, God who can give me the right answer and solve all my problems. no point asking my parents, cos they said do whatever u like....im all grown up and blah blah blah......

Saturday, August 20, 2005

PMS

another blog for today. why am i blogging so much? you may ask. yeah. saturday night, stuck at home. painful cramps. yeah.....guessed it right. PMS...wanted to go watch a movie and have dinner with my friend...but guess what~! he has to have rashes....and booo..... i have this longing for fish&co or manhattan fishhie......never tried it. but it sounds nice. or a nice decent chocolate fondue buffet sounds good too~! sigh....anything with that someone special sounds good. yah lah, everytime i PMS i always feel lonely and whine and whine non-stop like a love-deprived kitten.

sorry dear friends for listening and reading my craps. haha....but i am really greatful for having such great friends~! a true friend beats having a boyfriend~! haha...

aiyah...blame it on the lin jj and fan yi cheng songs for making me feel this way. i was okie when i was listening to hip hop & rnb songs.....

i love chatting...i love chatting with people. especially with nice people whom i can connect and communicate with. how i wish can just sit in a coffee house in a rainy day and just chatting and laughing non-stop. or stay overs and chit chatting....

sigh....which reminds me....what to do for my birthday? mac-donalds? settlers? ktv? bbq? chalet? or nothing? aiyah.....cant be bothered by such trival stuffs. just a birthday only what......

ok...back to colouring my magazine holder....

SpAsH....

was surfing the web.....guess what i came across~!!!!



what?~! you see nothing?~!? look carefully~!!!!!!!!!!!
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alright.....let me give you a clue....


saw it~?! argh~!!!! still no~?! there!! straight at your face~! haha....

yeah....us at gotham penthouse.....NUS sports bash aka spash.on front page somemore......it goes to show we are oh-so-pretty...haha... well, dont we all look pretty? ok...please stop mentioning my double-chin~!!!!!! one wild night....haha....sigh...last bash of this sem...no more bashes or partying for me. time to study hard. cos of the bash i missed my morning lecture on friday and have to crash another on tuesday, which is my free day. but i deserve it. haha.

and seriously, i need to do something to my hair. its messy, curly, neither black nor brown and dry......i need an image make-over. they say looks dont matter. i say its rubbish. looks do matter. after all, human beings are lovers of beautiful things. its just us. even animals go after looks when looking for a mate. haha....but there are far more things important than looks. aiyah, shant debate here. my point is, i wanna change. look different. and it has to start with my hair and figure of cos. my dieting plan isnt working out too well. pills look like an easy alternative but im afriad of the side effects. i did take pills once and it indeed made me lose weight. but after learning of the harmful effects like your heart beating faster and stuffs, i dint dare to take diet pills. exercise it is then.....:(

GIRLS~!!!! I WANNA GO EYEBROW THREADING AT LITTLE INDIA~!!! if u guys are reading this, lets not drag anymore and immediately fix a date~! it has been so long since my last professional eyebrow plucking that my brows are becoming undefined.....

i wanna buy boots~! those high boots....u knoe? haha....yeah, its ridiculous to wear boots in singapore given our weather and my sis learning about it will KPKB....but it looks soooo cool.....kaes, if i really get to canada, i will get it there. and anyway, i bet they have my sizes~! the thing with singapore is, all their shoes are so so small....korea as well, but you can get custom-made shoes for a decent price in korea. so it aint that bad. u cant blame me for having long size 8/9 feet. blame my bones~! *bad bones* ok....shant complain too much. at least i got a decent height. *good bones*

the whole SEP thing is really stopping me from doing many things. and there are many things i cant bear to leave behind...
  1. wanted to get braces. my teeth is getting ridiculously ugly. and it comes out very ugly in photographs. so i wanted to do soemthing about it. now that i have to go SEP, i have to put it away for 1 year....
  2. get my driving license. yes, i have been saying that for so long yet no action. and sobz...up till today, im turning 21 in 1 months time yet i dint get it....
  3. buy my white haivannas slippers. the thing is, if i buy now, i can only wear it for 1 sem and after that, i will be in canada which is winter and i cant possibly wear slippers there~! i gotta wear my nice boots~!
  4. school locker. who made it a 1 year lease? grrrrr.....i can only use it for 1 sem~~! so its bo hua....not worth. so i have to carry around my heavy sports shoe everyday for my sports buffet~! now i need to buy a nice shoebag. i rather be caught dead than be caught carrying around my ugly SAJC shoe bag....haha....no lah, its not that its ugly or what. i just want a nice shoebag~! been on my buying list for some time. but i was hesistating cos waste of money when i already have a "decent" shoebag.

the thing i hate leaving Singapore is.....

My parents. my darling parents.......my sis is in korea and with me gone, they will be really lonely. and i cant bear to. cos i know my mummy will be very very sad and lonely. i dont wanna abandon them. that is the greatest thing pulling me back. i love them so much. and to leave them for 5 months....its really something so hard for them as well as for me. my mum especially. she asked me if i really wanted this. the same look when i told her i was going to stay in kuok.

deciding whether annot to go for SEP is not just easy as it sounds. there are many factors involved and i think its time for me to rethink my decision.

Friday, August 19, 2005

SEP, shall i or shall i not.....
the more i think about it, the more barriers are formed
i just wanna go and roll around.

PMS-ing and everyone is pissing me off....

if u have a favour to ask of me, just ask, dont beat around the bush.

this entry has no point.

why am i still having pimples at this age? issit cos of my facial stuffs? or stress? i dunno why but miraculously ( did i even get that spelt rite? ) i lost weight. sports buffet aint really cardio cardio, and my tummy and arms are still flabby.....but yes, unknowingly, i just lost it. stress i guess. or issit baby fats disappearing as know im maturing?

as more ppl know of this blog, i feel more and more naked. somehow i dunno who reads this. and i feel like running and changing my address again. the thought of having a stalker. haha.....

i dunno who am i anymore. sometimes i can hardly recognize myself. how i wish i can go back to the days when i was just me. i would give everything i got now to be who i was years back. honestly speaking. i kinda like the way things are now. but somehow, i dont feel happy and carefree like a little girl anymore. i feel that every action has its consequences and i have to stop playing with my life and really do something about it before i regret. that explains my SEP decision. with my horrendous CAPs, who would have thought that i can get into waterloo? im thankful, but im starting to take things for granted and starting to have second thoughts.

i dunno what im crapping. just woke up lah....im just typing watever comes to mind. my nose is streaming with mucus. so uncomfortable.

my room is so messy but i dont give a damn cos my brain is mentally and physically exhausted. i feel like shouting profanities like no body's business. but shouting to no-one makes me feel dumb. who wants to listen to me scold? hahaha......

Sunday, August 14, 2005

poem time

i really dunno where i am heading in life....

and it sux....


ok...maybe im being pmsy again.

there are things which makes me smile
there are people who makes me smile
and to these things and people, THANK YOU.

ever had this feeling of thinking u like someone only to realise its just a serious infactuation? and the next moment, u realize how funny this whole thing is? well, i have, many times. and i just did. thanks to choo for bearing with my little girly-ness. but i tell u, it felt goooooood......i actually love having secret crush. its like something to look forward to everyday and someone to actually dream about in your sleep. although i hardly dream.

oh~!!! i know why im feeling so down and pissy these few days~!!! i dint consume much CHOCOLATES~!!!!!!!! im a chocoholic.....i love choco choco choco. nice cheap chocolates to expensive chocolates. i just love them and if given a chance, i would like to eat all the chocolates over the world one day~!

wanted to go ikea today to buy my magazine holder...but i bet ikea is human-infested today.....shall i just go? and i need my massage~!!!!! staying over in school....my bones and body feels so stiff~!

okies, been reading thru some past "poems" i wrote...here is one when i felt down with *ahem* yeah....but it kinda doesnt relates to me anymore...so here it goes....

Sometimes I wish u all the best
Sometimes I wish and wish bad things befall on you
Sometimes I just wish things would be like before
Sometimes I just wish things never started
Sometimes I wish life was more fair
Sometimes I wish you would come back begging for me
Though I know somethings can never happen
And some things will never go as I like

I am lost now.
Stuck at a crossroad.
Not knowing where to head
Should I turn back
Or should I just carry on with what life has got to offer

Crying drains me
Acting happy makes me feel like a hypocrite
My life is stained.
Stained with bad memories which I rather not have.

I wish to be loved.
I wish to have the courage to love again.
They say time heals all pain.
All I can is, it heals but scars are left behind.
Which will always be there to remind you of the hurt.
ok....thats it. dont laugh lah...i dint take 'O' levels lit lehz.......hmmmm...another poem is forming in my mind......hahahha....stay tuned~!!1

Saturday, August 13, 2005

new sem starts

sometimes i just dont know what i want.

staying over in school with other fellow ME peeps, kinda refreshing. and did i complain to u that my HR2002 class is filled with ee/ece year 4??? filled meaning EVERYONE is frigging years 4 EE/ECE cept me~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah...i felt super outcasted. but i know i will survive. i know i cant always have the easy way out in life. i have the option of dropping and re-taking another class, but its time i experience something different. not dependent on friends. be out on my own and make new friends. moreover, the seniors seem KINDA nice......shant comment too much... just wanna THANK JIMMY for being such a nice sweet @!#$%^&*(*&^%$#@$%^&* for pang-sehing me....

just e-mailed to get into SEP. haha....sounds dumb but yeah, just wrote it anyway. u never know unless u try. it will be my very very last chance and im not going to just let it go without even fighting the least bit. and to jiali and eva, GO FOR SEP~!!!! i wanna stop being such a hermit and i wanna break free. i dont want my life to be plain and ordinary and when i look back, i did nothing. thats how i have been feeling for the past few years. ever since my involvment with red-cross ended. i have been slacking. both in my life and studies.

hopefully the SEP peeps have a slot for me. please be either US or UK or Korea...........*crosses finger* aiyah......my grade sucks but i dont care. confidence is half the battle won. i cant be affected tooo much by my grade!

i have been told i take less attention to my dressing since sem started. do i really look that bad? just never comb my hair only mah......haha....:P aiyah...trying to go for the bohemia kinda look mah.....although i dont dare to wear those long flowy skirts. haha.....ok, i will settle for the half-bohemia look or maybe quater-bohemia...did i even spell bohemia correctly? i cant be bothered. gotta go read my readings....can really die manz...

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

i wrote one whole chunk....but realized its all so shitty......all so incoherent and all so argh......the end...

Sunday, August 07, 2005

SCHOOL....here i come......

enough of clubbing and all geared up for the coming sem....NOT~!!! im so so so not ready for the next sem! 3 months of holiday and my mind is holidified....cant seem to wanna study. the thought of studying till wee hours just terrifies me....

I MUST STUDY SUPER HARD NEXT SEM~!!!!
I MUST PULL UP MY CAPS NEXT SEM~!!!!

sigh....easier said than done. me, carol and jimmy made an agreement to study real hard next sem~! so, dont be suprised if u see any of us on the DEAN'S LIST next sem~!

club momo...fun...but it only lasted for 1hr...but it was satisfying....and ego up for me. yeay...approached by a not too bad looking guy. haha....but.....guys who hit on girls in clubs....not my kind.....

JU1021: Evolution of a teenage girl

cleaning up time ~!!! yes, its messy....thats why i had to clean up. actually its messy cos i was cleaning up.


guess what i found in the drawers~!!!!
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yes~! my secondary JSS buspass---> SAJC smart card--> NUS matric card~!
haha....how i have changed....i look so cute in the past eh....so lovable.....like real~! haha.....yes, i look like a nerd in the past. well, some might say i still look like a nerd....but wth~! confidence baby~! wonder how i will look another 5 years down the road......its funny how much a person can change when others still look the same! haha...

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

glad that u are doing great

sigh.....yes, im sighing and im gonna whine again. you have been warned.

you guys know who ian is right? yes, the guy i was together with for some time. we have gone our separate ways and i have deleted his everything cept his blog. and being the curious and k-po me, i do visit his blog from time to time. well, to see how "WELL" he is doing. how "HAPPY" he is with his new found love from maplestory... well, he sounds happy and blissful. and a part of me sincerely wish he gets the best. but unfortunately, another part of me cant accept the fact. accept the fact that he has someone whom he loves and can spend his life with, yet me?!?@ after all these while, im still finding myself. still finding what i really need and want.

i know i dint like him. but losing him was a different thing. i dint want to lose someone who could be at my beck and call. i did loved all the attention and love i was getting. i loved being driven around. i loved having companionship. but what i failed to realise was, there was something lacking in this whole "relationship". that was mutual love.

aiyah, again i dunno what im crapping. the thing is, my mind is lost. and i still have difficulties finding what i want.

ok, getting to the point. im unhappy reading how well stoopid ian is getting along. and i feel kinda sorry for myself. dont misunderstand me. i dont pity myself or anything. in fact, im pretty happy with my life right now. i have learnt to appreciate small insignificant things. i have learnt to appreciate stuffs that i missed out and took for granted last time. in my blind journey to find love, i found nothing but i've gained much.

yah lah~! im love crazy. its just me. i love love. love between family members, love between friends, love between couples. and i want love~! haha....i know im the extremist lah...but what to do.....humans were born with preferances. and loving love is what i was born to be. haha. i know some of my friends who dont really crave for love. or issit just the outer them? deep down inside, they crave for love. anyway, who doesnt wanna be loved? haha....see....im crapping again.
shall go practice my hamzah dance movees.....yeaaah....:P

o-week day 1


my o-week group. great bunch. more girls joined us at night.....total of 6 girls~! and they are good i tell u~! pretty onz....i like.....the guys are also good. i say they are a nice nice bunch of people. i love people who play hard and scream loud. haha...ok, im narcissistic (did i spell that right? lazy to check ) i like people who are like me. haha... my face still looks fat...the face lifting cream isnt working well.

haha....u may ask, why am i so free as to blog now, when i should be flagging? haha...well, i PONTENG~! since this is a private blog and only my close friends are reading, i shall be honest with u. but dont hate me. i dislike flag day~!! if i have a choice, i will surely, confirm plus chop miss it.

  • 2003 o-week: manage to escape it as i joined cheerleading...*phew* and the cheerleading session was super slack. just sit down there and sing cheers...haha....
  • 2004 o-week: no choice. gc of group. i would have love to skip it. but im a RESPONSIBLE person. so i went for flag day.
  • 2005 o-week: im ac~! and lesser responsiblilties. and i did it last year, so knowing its gonna be a super tiring and long day. i overslept. i dint even bother to adjust my alarm clock. i told myself, if i can really wake up by 5am....i will go. obviously ju kyung couldnt wake up at 5am~!!!!! not even with an alarm clock~! haha...i woke up at around 10? but too late and really very lazy to get out of my house. and no one messaged me anything. so i just slacked at home. only till at around 2+ my gc called me. haha..but too late already lah....so i told them i couldnt make it.

so there u have it. my flag day history. well, i had more when i was in red-cross. but then, i dint have a choice. and i was such a nerd and a good girl that i listened to everything and still remember having very heavy full cans.....

red-cross.....one of my happiest days...................