You Are 12 Years Old

12 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

no idea whether its true...apart of me says im 12....another part says otherwise....

sigh...this thing has been in my mind for the whole of today...singing all those lovey songs seeing married couples happily together...

what do i actually want in life? do i really want all those material comforts that i always longed for? or do i just want a simple marriage and live happily ever.

in my past entries, i mentioned i want someone who drives, someone who can actually pamper me.....well, all these seem so unimportant to me at times. especially today. when i saw many many married couples, happily going home with take away yong tau foo, strolling around with kids, going on a cheap backpack holiday to malaysia and taking a bus back home. all the small and simple things but its these small things that can actually bring happiness in people. at that moment, fine dining, posh cars and everything seem so materialistic and so unimportant.

at one point in time, i wanted someone to care for me, love me, treat me good, etc....it was all about ME, ME, ME.....but i felt an empty void inside me. it now seems that there is greater joy in giving and caring for people.

at another point in time, i wanted someont to be there for me 24/7. call me every night, spend every extra time with me. come to think of it, its a pretty dumb thing. i dunno why at that point in time it seems right. i am his girlfriend, so i should come first. but all these are just selfish thoughts. well, in the past i guess i lacked the trust. therefore was very scared of losing him. i guess trust is very important in any relationship. something i have yet to learn.

it seems like the first relationship i had was the sweetest and most innocent one. everything seems so perfect. i had no expectation, no nothing and it was just going by the feeling....following the heart. but after many hurts, i realized following your heart is just such naive thinking. how i envy those who never have been in a relationship. right now, to me, it all seems like something scarey and hurting and ugly. and i have no intention of stepping into one in the near future.

i still do not know what i want in life and what i look for in a partner. everyday i learn new things about myself. i guess will be someone who longs for true love to comes by and in the end ends up with nothing....i dunno....until i know what i want, or until someone who knows what i want comes along, i guess i am not going to care so much...:) i know God has a plan for me and i am willing to accept what He has planned...

just got home after a long and tiring day. went to the wing tai sale which i got to learn from abel's blog~! thanks abel~!!!!! see~!! its good to occassionally check on your friend's blog....:D the next one is the shoe sale. anyone? haha... woooo....had a long long journey there....okies. bought a nice cardigan, orange top, underwear, and a nice nike bottom....wow...the nike bottom...really kinda regret buying it...it cost like $30~!!!!!!! okies, its actual price was like $68. so its kinda worth it but....sobz.....spent $45.. later hungry and greedy choo decided to go jack's place..haha...kidding about the hungry and greedy part...:P wow...another $15.....and she wanted to do something spontaneous......at first she suggested bowling.....then pool......and in the end finally settled for ktv~!!! woohooo~!! luckily it was pretty cheap.... but it cost $18....
total amount spent: $78 = one day's work...:(
emotion now: guilty
solution: work harder...:(

anyway, had a blast. although feeling kinda tired and sick now.....

사랑해도 될까요? - 유리상자문이 열리네요 그대가 들어오죠
첫눈에 난 내사람인걸 알았죠
내 앞에 다가와 고개 숙이며 비친 얼굴
정말 눈이 부시게 아름답죠
*왠일인지 낯설지가 않아요 설레고 있죠
내 맘을 모두 가져간 그대*
#조심 스럽게 얘기할래요 용기내 볼래요
나 오늘부터 그대를 사랑해도 될까요
처음인걸요 분명한 느낌 놓치고 싶지 않죠
사랑이 오려나봐요 그대에게 늘 좋은것만 줄께요#
*반복*
참 많은 이별 참 많은 눈물 잘 견뎌 냈기에
좀늦었지만 그대를 만나게 됐나봐요
지금 내 앞에 앉은 사람을 사랑해도 될까요
두근거리는 맘으로 그대에게 늘 좋은것만 줄께요#
#반복#
내가 그대를 사랑해도 될까요

nice song....titled...may i love you?

sigh....the sad truth sets in today...i will have scar on my fingers...at least thats what the nurses say. my mum was pretty angry that they dint do anything with the wound. she was complaining like in korea the doctor will give u all sorts of cream to prevent scar...here, they just say, u will have scar....:( grrrrrr......im pretty angry on the inside...but what to do? its my fault....okies....quite disheartening...but i guess there is still hope~! gonna apply all sorts of anto-scar cream...hopefully it works....sigh....worst comes to worst, i will go for cosmetic surgery or watsoever. how can my wedding ring finger be scared~! its like such a bad omen....

another news, got a call from the job agency telling me they got me a job. yes, translating....korean to english..pay is like $10/hr....not bad for a temp job...but i wonder how much the agency is sucking in~!! from what i know, my sis is like earning big bucks~! like 200++, close to 300 for just 2 days work...although its tiring...at least her korean is better than mind.. my korean aint that perfect...its like my chinese standard.....hopefully the dictionary will help...:D the worse thing...i have to be at kaki bukit by 9am~!!!! considering my sleeping habits...(yes girls, stop nodding your head) i think i will have a tiny bit of difficulties....im a late owl....how can u expect me to sleep before 12???

my life is like passing by soo meaninglessly....its like ive never done anything great~! my studies aint that great....my cca needless to say....my greatest hobby: eating and sleeping ( and maybe aerobics...i love dancing around sweating with everyone~!) achievements: none

yeah..i wanna do something fun~! something wild something that i can remember and something i like~!i wanna create a new formula or a new mathematical equation~!! i want to win a nobel prize~! i want to be the first lady~!! well, something more ermmm...practical.... i wanna travel around the world~! bungee-jump~! go around singapore and its unseen places~! visit orphanages and old folks home~! i want to start up a mini buisiness~! i want to lose weight and be pretty~!! i want to work in a zoo~! i want to sign up for some dance classes~! i want to learn new things~!! ( like a new language or something...my Jap...totally cmi. well, maybe i should brush up on my korean) i want to have a great big birthday party~! i want to....i want to....i want to.....so many things....so great dreams...yet right now, i feel so small and incapable of fulfiling even the slightest dream. my life.....guess i have to live to love it...

yeah....more flowers and more me.......arent they both lovely....:D
did i say i dislike flowers?? i take it back...i luuuuuuuuvvvvvvvv flowers.......give me more~!!!

yeah....im a thinker...

just bored at home....so just played with my face and hair....the 2way cake...wooo...heavenly...

kawaiii......make up using my sister's present....sooo nice...its better than lancome.......

lovely lilies....lovelier jooo....:)

just came back from my shopping trip...not exactly a shopping trip..but just went to taka with one thing on my mind...GUESS? bag....

when i went there....woooo....most of the crowd was hovering over the GUESS? bags/wallets. and i squeezed in to grab out a bag...

there were so many designs...although all last seasons.....it was still pretty....(not as pretty as the bag i want) but still..i was happy....

i was in a dilemma...what to choose? the more functional yet a little uglier one? or something small yet chic? and shall i get myself a wallet?? long or short??

conclusion: bought the more functional yet not so chic-ish one....guess i can bring it to school and it will be more well-used. and the wallet...i will go home and think about it...

anyone wanna go again tomorrow?~!

sigh....i hope i am rich...or i hope to hook up a rich boyfriend who will buy me everything i want and wish for.....so many nice things i wish to buy..,..if only......sigh......

in a total bad shape now.....my fingers hugely bandage that i can hardly type....have difficulties bathing and washing up and washing the dishes. money money money...lack of it....the house is in a mess and mummy daddy coming back soon....jobless....bad sleeping habits....my laptop's memory is full.....gotta buy darn external harddrive. ..and im getting fatter by the minute....and my fringe....sobz....i need a new hair style.....need to get my license........talking about cars....my dad's car couldn't start up cos i never start the engine for many days.....darn.....im in so so so bad shape......this is so bad......

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oh yah.....saw this porsche today...it looked like an old normal car.....until i saw the porsche logo...hmmmm...maybe the person stole the logo and pasted it on his toyota...hahaha.........

and i also saw this super cool convertible..woohoo..metallic blue......wonder who drives tat....

ever had this feeling of feeling super good...like on cloud 9....and the next moment you are brought down to hell?

i so so so so regret cutting my fringe.....the last time i cut it...it was pretty cute and chic...this time round......really bad bad mistake.
i cute a little at first...but it dint have the desired effect i want....koreans going for short neatly curled up fringes.......so i wanted that too...but who know...the more i cut...the more it looked like Q-moh....so i said to myself, anyway, its already a mess, so why not just cut more? maybe can get the desired effect....hell was i wrong~!!!!!
today, i had to put on my lose sunglass on my head so as to prevent my ugly fringe from showing....sigh...must i go back to my hair stylist and get my hair done again? i think its time for a hair make-over~!!!!

this is freaky.......sly really looks like merv.......merv, u should keep your hair long and style it like sly...then u can really imitate him,...freakky..

jiali's 21st birthday party~!!!!!!!! happy birhtday girl~! hope u had a great time cos we did have a blast~!!!! and u were such a good host. sorry to deprive u and your poor innocent "kor" of your beauty sleeps...

What I look for in a man....

1. someone who loves me (obviously)
2. someone who understands me. ( i can be really weird and eccentric at times)
3. someone who is spontaneous. ( meaning follow the mood. cos im someone who likes to enjoy the moment and will do silly things out of the moment)
4. someone who can pamper me. i love pampering myself and i loved to be pampered.
5. someone who can drive me home after a long day of shopping.
6. someone who can bring me on holidays~!!! i wanna get out of singapore~! please bring me out~!!!!
7. someone who is intellectual.
8. someone who is kind at heart. (but not too kind. i dont want a guy with super soft heart and being nice to everyone and everything)
9. someone who will do silly things just to bring a smile to my face.(i said silly not dumb~! although its a fine line between these 2......do one thing dumb and u are banished to my dumb list)
10. someone who is rich~! ( my dream is to be a tai-tai)
11. someone who is successful....( i wanna be the woman behind my successful man...*winks*)
12. someone who can sayang my scalded hand~!!!!!!! (so so so very painful...just hope no scars...:()
13. someone who enjoys being pampered ( then we can go for spas and facials together)
14. someone who loves to wine and dine. ( i appreciate good food~!)
15. someone romantic( i wanna be romanced~!!)
16. someone sporty with a nice,sexy body
17. someone who is musically talented( the piano and guitar will do....drums sounds good too....:))
18. the list just goes on.......

darn...i sound so materialistic and so demanding.....no wonder more and more women are not getting married nowadays. they dont settle for second best. but right now, im so so not ready for a relationship. will end up in more hurt i guess for both parties...i dunno....life's funny....love's funny....

okie....my hair turned up very curly and nice today~! in other words good hair day~! so here is a pic....yeah...went to do my nails with eva today..wanted this dark blue colour...but some girl was hogging it~!!! so i had to make do with bronzey goldey colour....okies...not too bad....but i wouldn't go back to that shop again~! for $22 i could get a better nail service.....anyway, feel pampered today....:D

went for the manicurist interview, but they were looking for a full-timer....at first the woman was shocked. she said im very qualified for the job given my educational background. and she was like asking did i come to the right place and kept asking if i knew what kinda business they are doing.... well, the shop was very nice and the boss was very pretty and nice....but in order to work part time, she said she have to train me before i can actually do the job. and guess what? training costs $450~!

still thinking if i should...darn...should have went for the clementi shop one.....although a neighbourhood shop....the woman was willing to coach me and use me full time for 3 months....:(

nowdays i feel that my face is getting better....more radiant and healthier....cos i have been spending some quality time with my face...masking, massaging, exfoliating, marvel gel-ing....etc.... wow, steal some of my mom's product. and i must say, its goood....:D although there are still some tiny pimples, but complexion-wise, i feel that its getting better even with my constant make-up these few days.....okie, maybe more pimples, but feel that its healthier~! please dont say no....i will feel hurt. if u see me, just say "wow~! your skin is good~! what product did u use?" haha....just humour me canz? sigh...when can i start going for facial again.....i think the last time i went was like last year? or was it last last year.....i miss my facial....boo.......i need work~!

i wish and wish tomorrow there will be nice nice jobs~!!!! *crosses fingers*

okies...done with exams....now 3 months of holz and how am i going to spend it? suppose to go for a job interview today. was at 11.30am...but guess wat...woke up at like 12.12pm. hahaha.....darn....have 2 more interviews tomorrow..one at great world...the other that the sleasy paradiz centre.....i think i will forget about the second one... okies....hopefully can wake up in time...

life is good and slow.....and it never felt this good...but my house is getting messier and messier by the day.....darn...still got my dishes.....

i wanna pamper myself...but i've been doing that far too often. gotta cut down on that....darn...wish i could live the life of a tai tai....can pamper myself all i like....nice food, nice clothes and bags, facial, spa, slimming, aerobics (gym), nice cars, and the list goes on....*STOP DREAMING JU KYUNG* hahaha..it wont hurt to dream a little right....:P well, its free to dream anywayz...:P

sigh..keep thinking about my Guess? bag....and my abercrombie jacket.......jiali...lets go get one the moment we get our first pay~! hahaha...anyone...going us?

so happy that my router is finally working..although the connection is a little slow....but im satisfied....:D

i wanna get a driving licence~!!!!! or issit spelt at license? whatever it is, i just want it....so that i can drive around....darn....daddy's car sitting in the carpark and i have to help him start up the engine every 3 days but i cant drive it...if only~!!! grrr.....

i realized something...i have been scratching myself unknowing these few days....i got scratch marks like all over me...my face, thighs, legs, hands......woo...sub-conscious self torture...whats that called arh? bondage? NO......darn...forgot the term....

yay~!! cant wait for jiali's birthday party~!!!! whats the theme~?!@? must get a nice theme to match clothes~!!!! how about princess?~! wheeee~!! sounds nice~! then i can wear my stick with the mini tiara....:D or...how about chinese new year? okies...im getting totally out of point...

okies...gotta go wash my clothes, do my dishes and brush my teeth....tomorrow is a whole new day...:D

i love the world....:D

my cousin's wedding....wasnt able to make it due to exams last year...boohoo....

yes, my darling sister....she looks pretty here...not like her usual self....cos her camera phone can make one look slimer and nicer~!!!! *bleah* stoopid sis who spoilt my chanel bag....grrr.....

always loved dior....but too costly to get the real stuff and i dont think i will be happy with the imitation.. this is a dior rasta messenger bag. always wanted their messenger bag....so cute and nice.....but...$$$$$$$.....
so i decided Guess bags are preety chic as well and much much less costly. okies...the bag i eyed in the stall is not in the guess website...darn...but carol and amy should know which one....actually all Guess bags looks soooooo darn sexy and pretty and chic-ish....$$$$$$~!@#!@#
when i get my first pay (provided i can find a decent job) i am gonna spend 80% ~!! spurge on myself~!!!!!!! selfish thoughts....
now, im busy packing my stuffs.....thanks to handsome andrew for volunteering to help with the transportation...:D such a sweetie...i owe u one...
okies...better pack pack....sorrie peeps who wanted to view my nice room (JJ who always wanna come room warming when my room is already so hot...) hahaa....sorrie....