Monday, March 28, 2005

i feel really blessed...:D

i realised one thing.....well, many things. staying out and living by myself, its tough living without everything you once had. you cant have everything in life. one very important thing...air con..i have been living without it for like 1 month? my mommy finds it amazing. i used to expose my skin to aircon almost 24hrs a day. i hate humidity. i hate being hot (other than suana and steam baths) okies, thats not the point. the point is, i have learnt to live without some "wants". learnt that not everytime things have to go my way. i just have to live and accept reality. i have also learnt to live a frugal life. okies, im still learning. but grocery shopping to me has become a totally different thing. in the past, i used to buy nice chocolates, tidbits etc....and did not really hesistate on the price. if i want it, why should i compromise....but now, i've learnt to cut down on my spendings. dont buy unless really neccessary. and i have learnt to choose the cheaper one...even if it means 10cents different. yeap~! thats how i have changed. to you guys, it may seem like nothing, but to me, its a big sacrifice. and let me tell u something....the expensive omega 3, omega everything egg tastes different from the kampong eggs...

lesson number 2, there are nice people everywhere. people willing to do things for you, with no conditions attached. really touched to meet these people. in the past, i may have taken them for granted. but i have learnt to treasure them. and i just want to say a big thank you to you...:D

all in all, i am very blessed. i feel very fortunate. and i am not going to take things for granted. i have really learnt to treasure every bit of fortune i have....and i really thank God for His plans....:D

these few days have been meeting up with my sec school friends....really happy to meet them after like 1++ years of no contacts....Jasmine, had a great time yesterday~! and really really thank you for helping me with my grocery. both shopping and carrying...:P and next time, lets explode ourselves in Marche again. hahaha....cant believe it...we spent like 50++ just for the both of us~! muhahahaha.....:P

and do pilots really earn alot?~! like 80k per month~?!

Wednesday, March 23, 2005


muhahahaha...hows this??? just took it with my webcam....webcam does wonders.....im starting to like my doraemon webcam more and more.....abel...dont u regret not getting the same one as me??:D

Saturday, March 19, 2005


yes...adidas sale~!!!! wooohooo~!!! just look at abel.......how many bags is he exactly holding~?!~?!~?! adidas fanatic.... Posted by Hello

no title.....:?>

just came back from church. sorry nicholas for waiting soo long for me....the stoopid washing machine lah.....make me have to redo my laundry again...

wow....tonight's sermon was good. the pastor was good. it made me understand the reasons why i should be a virgin. okies...its not that im not a virgin or i dont wish to be a virgin. i truly believe that my first time should be kept for my husband. cos i know that my love and my virginity would be the most precious and valuable gift i could get him. hahaha..everyone~! being a virgin is cool~! hahahaha....

the paster actually dated only one girl up to now...that is his wife...aww....so sweet rite? yeap. i too wanna be like him. im not going to rush into any relationships. nor am i going to be desperate. but im going to get serious. im already turning 21 soon. its time to think mature and start planning for my future.

during the service just now. i just felt like crying. i have no idea why......maybe stress? maybe its the holy spirit. but i kept my tears back. just dint want to cry in a unfamiliar surrounding....well, i love to cry lah~~! hahaha...and nicholas almost made me burst out if not for me trying so hard to keep my tears back.

sigh...how i wish i can have a good cry.....but i want a nice shoulder to cry on....in the past, i dint really like to cry on people's shoulder for the fear of dirtying their clothes. but i guess now i realized its not just the shirt or the shoulder. its the company that makes you feel better. a nice
warm hug, a nice pat on the head or the back...its just makes one feel so much better...:) so...anyone with nice shoulders? please contact me...hahahaha

sigh...right now, i feel so lost. i dunno what to do. church does seem to make me feel better and it helps to feel up that emptiness in my heart. but am i turning to God just cos i need that love? is He just a rebound for me? i would really love to love Him....but......i guess i lack that faith.

listening to david tao's song. so nice and romantic. again, putting me in that romantic mood...hahaha....yeah..im a helpless romantic. love guys who can sing and strum their guitar. so mesmerizing....just reminds me of yesternight's chilling out session. the accapella was wonderful......light-hearted, funny, interesting, engaging, mesmerizing....hahahhaa...the guy in the guitar lah...:P okies.... but it was a well worth $8. i dont mind going again. and its a perfect place for couples. anyone wants to go??? :D

sigh...i wonder if my laundry is done....and gosh i gotta wait another 40mins for it to dry...:( so dumb.......so lazy to go home now...:( i dint get to sleep in my nice cosy room for like 2 weeks....:( i miss mommy......

and swimming today made me black~!! grrr...and sunburnt...ouch....and muscle ache.....ouch.....i gotta go exercise more often....aerobics anyone? okies...i love aerobics...just love it....got addicted to it in korea. but the ones in korea are much nicer..its more like dancing class cum aerobics..... there are standard routines for certain songs...and the steps are more like dance steps. combining salsa, hiphop, regae, pop and everything else.....so fun.....

okies....thanks everyone who is visiting my blog. i just opened up and in 1 day,...wow~! i have like 47 visitors~!! really touched~! i feel really appreciated people like to read about my life. and i love it when ppl leav messages in my tagboard..*hint*hint* hahahaha....really..i love to be pampered by my friends, family and lovers. just love the feeling of being loved. thanls people for taking an interest in my life. i love you guys~!! *muacks*
too many things..... summarize.

swimming is good. keeps me energized.

cheerleading is dangerous.

adidas sale was a blast. unknowingly spent so much

going back to church. back to God.

my room stinks. no idea why

new printer from eva. working well.

lab report. undone.

grocery shopping. undone.

laundry. washing machine will take care of that.

mosquitos....why are they breeding in my room when i live on the 7th floor~?!~!?

Thursday, March 17, 2005

i love myself...:P

hey everybody~!!! guess who's back~! back again...joojoo's back~! muhahahaa......yeap. back for good.....decided and made up my mind. something that was so easy yet took me so long. hahahaha....yeap, you girls know what im talking about. I've gotten over it. this time, really. i realized how much i've missed these few days~! studies, and some budding new relationships....:P okies....shant talk too much about it. i dont wish to be labelled as an amplifier. hahahaha...but really, i wish you two all the best~! OMG~! u two are just so perfect. like what carol has said, i can see u two getting married. hahaha.....eh, when u two get married, must invite us eh~! :P

okies....im watching the channel 8 9pm drama. and i feel that out of the 3 sisters, im most like the youngest spoilt sis, meide. spoilt, hardly consider the feelings of people around me. but these few years i have been trying hard to try and feel for the people around me. i try my best to put others before me. but most of the time, im just plain selfish. but i have my soft spots too....i love my family to bits.....any hurt that comes to them comes to be as a bigger hurt. my mom just called, just to say take care. she does that almost everyday. and i tears just start rolling down. yeay...im a mama's girl.

these few days...or rather the past couple of weeks, i have been living in darkness. dwelling on the past and my regrets. just dint have mood for anything.....just felt like crying.....but i feel better now.....i felt like changing my wholeself. like start doing things i dint do......but i guess my mommy's and sister's and many other prayers worked. i dint. i dint follow the bad route. i dint wish to disappoint and hurt those who truly love me and care for me.

its been a long time since i really went back to church.....i miss the feeling. miss that feeling....christians, guess u will kinda know what im talking about. well, right now, im too ashamed to call myself a christian. im unworthy of His love. i know its gonna be real heart going back to Him especially with exams nearing and stuffs....okies, shant talk so much about that here.

lalalalalalalala~! hey everyone~~! come on and rock my world~!

5 years back....yes...my favourite phase in my life...... Posted by Hello

spot the difference~!!!! hahahhaa Posted by Hello

say Oooooo....:O Posted by Hello
the more i look at my photo....the more dumb it looks...dumb in the sense that its cute....:P

Monday, March 14, 2005

Webcam~!


took this pic in my hostel after installing my webcam~!!!muhahahaha....i know i know ugly pic...but what to do...i saved all the nice pics as bmp and stoopid hello doesnt allow....wat to do.....can see my humongous pimple...:D

Sunday, March 13, 2005

gone....

i felt sad
i looked all over for your number
but i just couldn't find it
i went thru my whole phonebook
from a to z
but i just couldn't find it
and i just realised i deleted all of it
all of your numbers
all of your memories
all of you.....

at this instance, i knew i was in this all alone
i cant go back to you
even when im sad
even when im happy
all i can do is to keep it all to myself
and slowly wait for another to enter my life
to share my life with

i know now....you are really gone.......

Saturday, March 12, 2005

incoherent entry

well....i realised my happiest moment was when i was in secondary school.. was talking to nicholas in jimmy's car...and he too said his best time was at secondary school..

sigh...how time flies..its been so long since my seconday school days. but those were THE DAYS OF MY LIFE. althought tainted by that one stoopid detention, but still...it was the most wonderful days of my life.....thinking about the past is making me feel nostalgic...

i wasn't from any top secondary school, neither was i from those famous girls' school. it was just a neighbourhood school, but still my heart is still there...all my memories...good and bad. but more of good.

i wasn't miss popular or anything. instead, i was just a normal talkative girl. and i guess im remembered as the noisy girl who sings around like a mad woman. sigh...this song is super nice.....its on replay mode. guang liang's tong hua....super super nice.....makes me feel so moody? haha..but in a good way...those days where u just wanna watch a sad movie just to let your tears out...:P okies...enough of side track.

God has been graceful and forgiving.....always accepting me for who i am and always welcoming me back in his warm embrace everytime i stray away. He always comes to be in different ways...thru songs, thru friends, thru an angel. i believe that there are angels everywhere, dressed as like u and me but always protecting us. and i believe im protected by these wonderful angels....okies...maybe im watching too much "touched by an angel" but still. i do really believe in them. sigh...its time i go back to God...surrender my all to him... let him decide my life for me. Afterall, He who created us knows us best. although i still have doubts, my heart and my soul both tells me He exists. many times my engineering brain tells me otherwise.

okies...back to my sec school days. being from an all girls primary school, seconday school was when i first knew guys. that was when i started having all crazy crushes. peeing them from afar and just happy that i can get to see them. it was when i felt happiest~! muhahaa....my crushes.....i can still remember a few of them...hahaha....thinking back i think it was so sweet. kids nowadays seem to pass this phrase. well, secondary school was when i studied best...okies not in lower sec...but at least for Os i did studied and was actually pretty happy studying...with all the nice teachers constantly pushing us and helping us....Mr William, Mrs Tong, Mis Loh, Miss Chew (did i spell that right?) and not forgetting my form teacher Fong Tai Tai who was so happy i got B3 for my chinese that she told my Red cross teacher....so embarrassing..haha

Talking about red cross....my favourite. i actually enjoyed every single part of it...from footdrill to first aid to NDP practices. although i did dread being the chairperson. i really had no intention to be one. infact i dint want to. i know i wasnt really that capable of being the chairperson.there were other better candidates, but it was thanks to my friends who kept pushing me and good relationship with seniors which got me that position.

sigh...i hate to grow up. i hate to grow up to see this ugly world. the more i live, the more ugly things i see and everytime i get disappointed. why is the world like this? it hurts me to see people change and turn bad. it hurts me to see people getting hurt. it hurts me to see my dear ones crying. i hurt more when my mother cry and be sad than anything else in the world. call that mother-daughter relationship.

i dunno what im writing now. my entry is so rubbishy. well, in fact all my entries are so incoherent. i jsut follow my mood and my brain and write what i wanna write...:P

well, i just realised im someone who can fall in and out of love very easily. but when i fall in...i fall deep in. my heart is like so easily moved... am i fickle-minded? nah...i would say im desperate~! :P hahahaha... its really easy to capture my heart. just give me what i desire amd im yours~! the hard part is knowing what i want....:P

dear friends...i changed my blog address, ad you have noticed. its to run away/hide from someone. someone who has hurt me deep. i dont wish him to see me in this state. i dont want him to have anything to do with my life. i just loathe people like him. Okies....God says to love everyone. you guys might think im hiding from reality. but who cares. i wanna disappear and hope he can never reach me....i wanna forget. and forgetting something u remember dearly is not something easy. and something which hurt u deeply, its not gonna take overnight to cure completely.

well, i would say i was playing with a knife. thought it was fun and just played along. just left it hanging anywhere. finding it only when i need it. but throwing it aside when i dont need it. but the knife grew rusty and old due to improper care. but i still played along with this knife. but who knows, one careless act and the knife just cut me deep. with all the rust, it just makes the wound worse. thats how im feeling now.

but i know with proper care and bandaging, i will be okie. and who knows the scars may even disappear too~!! hopefully that someone has a loving heart to treat my wound and not mind my scars.

okies....again, im sounding desperate.

wow~! the other day i saw this lamboguini....aiyah...dunno how to spell lah....but it was soooooo cool~!!!!!!!!! wow....but i still prefer tall tall cars.... or convertibles...or those big luxury cars. not really into sports car...:)

Friday, March 11, 2005

tough week..

woohoo...long time no update~! well, i was kinda busy and was in a lousy mood....so...ermmm...yeap~! im updating now aint i?

what was i busy with?
1. busy moving into my new hall trying to adapt to the non-aircon, self service life....still trying to adapt...
2. i was sick. yeah. couldn't adapt well and hence fell sick. yeah. i fall sick due to my new non-aircon lifestyle. recovering soon...^^
3. ermmm..with some personal stuffs....close friends will know what it is and i really thank you guys for guiding me back and knocking some sense into me. and i am really touched u guys really cared. really really thanks. eva, thanks for keep constantly listening to my whining. and amy, thanks for constantly asking me out to study. but sorry that i lack self discipline. will try to slowly slowly join in...:D
--> well, all in all...this week was a really tough weak. full of downs and downs. wouldn't say it was a roller coaster cos there was nothing good. sigh...im home sick...i miss mommy and daddy and my air con. and all these stress made me lose weight...hahaha..what a good way to lose weight~! muhahahaa.....

i cant say im happy now. but im trying to be happy and i know i will be happy. right now, im gonna concentrate on living my life. im gonna lose weight. alright...i know i said im gonna lose weight so many kezillion times, but this time...im gonna lose weight~! muhahahaha....ladies...get ready for the next MISS KOREA~!!1 muhahaha....

okies, now, i am seriously thinking of buying a second hand air con for my room. i really realised i cant stand the fan. really really.....i was surfing...and found some pretty good deals...but its will cost at least $300.....shall i get one? hmmm....still considering....but im like 60% towards the yes side.

anyway, due to this whole stressful week, i am way behind time. i need to buck up~!!! yeay~! buck up~!!! okies...gotta go cook my lunch cum dinner~!! adios~!

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

hahahaha..shock

hahaha...something happened...so funny....i just had to write it down....this girl, stay just opposite the pantry....so funny..muhahaa...

i was coming out of the pantry after making my soup....then she waved and said hello and smiled at me....and i was like super dumbfounded...so i wanted to hi back..then who knows she just went into her room...hahaha...then i was like more shocked....??????? ermmmm......hahaha..still in shock..hahaha.....

Friday, March 04, 2005

change of address

hey dear friends, i have decided to change my blog address....dont want to make it so public now. not that i have tonnes of people reading my blog. but just, just dont wanna let my life be known to so many un-related people. so, i will come up with a new address....when i have thought of a nice name for it....just wait patiently...in the mean while...be happy always...

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Kuok...?

dear bloggie...
here i am after my tiresome 3 straight continuous days of tests...it really drained me completely dry....not that i studied real hard. but lots of last minute work. i was so scared that i almost backed out for the last test. but determination kept me on. i told myself, i cant possibly fake ill just to escape from something that i dont like. instead, i should pluck courage and bravely face it. That's exactly what i did...studied till 5am...:) im not that a weak willed girl after all~! its always mind over body. but the next day, my body was too weak for my mind and lost in the battle. i fell sick....had throat infection...but still, i managed to go for the test and after that, went out with amy baby~! hahaha..to catch a movie....."Million Dollar Baby"

i have to say that was a great movie. or maybe cos i dint expect much from it. i thought it was some dumb baby baby show with REAL BABIES...hahaha....after the movie, went for dinner....throat killing like mad so i had fish beehoon....it was fantastic...but amy had the nice grilled ayam chicken....*sob*sob* and i just realised PS have "FRIED ICE CREAM"~!! ooohh....i must go and try it one day. always wanted to try it...but couldnt find it...anyone wanna join me?

wow...shopping was real tiring....sorry amy i was pretty sick and i wasnt a great company...:) i will make it up to u another day~! *promise*

when i got home...wow~! i immediately rushed for my bed....and wah......felt like HOME....:) was running a fever, so ate my medicine and slept...:)

the next morning, which is today morning, got a call from someone from OSA....and he was laughing at me for sleeping till so late~! later i told him i was sick and he was very concerned and kept saying sorry. wat a sweet guy. okies thats not the main point. he called to tell me i have been offered a place in kuok foundation. wow...i dint realised i would get it. i just applied out of fun...and it came to me as a shock more than a surprise... well, im still considering whether to take it or not. i dont live that far away from home. my house have AIRCON and a nice FRIDGE and a nice DRESSING TABLE and a comfortable TABLE and CHAIR and a nice TOILET and nice FOOD...and...and....but i guess i cant live easy all the time. like my dad says, i must learn to live without my parents' shelter and all the finer things in life. well, this may be the day. but its too abrupt~! i cant just like go? the person says i can check in tomorrow~! wow...talking about efficiencies...but i gotta decide within 3 days. but i dunno how to bring it up to my parents.... i cant bear to leave them...and i also cant expect them to pay extra just for me.....and i dunno if they would allow...its all too sudden.

and also, money wise it would be a problem~! i would be eating 3 meals outside....sigh....now i really gotta scrimp and save....and the worse thing is NO AIRCON~!! wah...i wonder how will i survive....im not pampered or spoilt or anything~! its just that i grew up with it...and it became my daily neccessity. hahaha..okok...maybe im spoilt....but i just need aircon...

well, enough of my whinning, im nursing a broken throat....:Pbut still...i keep eating my chocolates. its just so tempting~! maybe im horny....they say horny girls like chocolates...or something like chocolates can satisfy a horny girl...hahahaha....

okies....back to thinking the pros and cons...:D