Sunday, September 13, 2009

I've lost it

Apparently, I have lost it.

I lost the dance groove in me.
My body cant seem to execute the moves and all I'm concentrating on is to catch my breath!!
When did this ever happen!?@?!

I love to dance and feel a sense of happiness when I dance around.
I get transported to another dimension and all confidence just oozes out.
Got a belly? I dont care! I just dance and dont care what other think~

But today, i was so darn concious of my belly, my body, myself.
I cant even follow the simplest moves and it really felt really horrible.
Confidence hit the lowest level.

I still love to dance and would to continue this passion.
Is it too long a break? or issit age getting the better of me?
I will perserve on to see......

I think right now, my confidence level is at all time low.
The other day, was approached by this guy at bugis.
of cos i kindly rejected, but first thought that came to my mind....is this guy trying to pull a fast one on me?
Trying to fool me?

Gosh, when did i ever ever ever felt this way?
Last time, even 2 months back, when i got approached i acted all haughty and proud.
Now im like shit.

Project Confidence. I have given myself 3 months to accomplish certain mission.
Its a must do or die.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Short Updates

Zoom Zoom ZOoom....
There goes another month!
How did time fly by so darn quickly?
Things change but im glad some friendship remains.
I did a small chuckle to myself when I saw what you named this picture!!!!
It's been a while I heard that name~~My New ah-lian wannabe hairdo~~~

I'm getting tired of all these "how-are-you" SMSes.
What is the purpose and What am I supposed to reply?

Issit guys' ego that once rejected, they don't bother trying?
Or am I just reading too much?

I have given myself enough of singlehood....
It hasn't done any good and not only am I bored, I don't get pampered much~
and I can't be bothered to dress up.
and all my dinner dresses are rotting in my cupboard, and taking up quite a bit of space in my already small cupboard.

Decided this is it~ shall go back into the dating scene once more, regardless the reason~ :)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Sigh....

Thats prolly what I do most these few days.

Now I fully understand all the worries adult go through.

My room is in a mess, people are breaking in, and I am leaving for Bintan in a few hours.

At times, I just feel so helpless and just wish for a helping hand or a shoulder to rest on when this journey called life is getting too tiring.

I know there is an easier option out.
But call me weird and stubborn if you like, but I am sticking to my decision.
I am sticking to my dreams.
I am sticking to being true to myself.

Its tough, but I'm a tough cookie and I will overcome it all!

Sunday, March 29, 2009

About Stress

Stress is piling~

I need a break.

Prolly need a retreat ~

Or I need a hobby, to relieve all these stress.

And shopping is not an option, as my bank is getting flatter~~

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Spinster Me

Living alone has made me independent,

However, day by day, I'm growing to become more selfish, demanding, less understanding.

More and more like a grouchy old spinster.

Am I slowly transforming into one?

Monday, March 02, 2009

Weekend Burnt


My first ever proper wedding~ with my ever hawt colleagues!
COngrats Joseph & Ying Ling~

Yup yup yup~ I have moved to my new place! And i'm loving it!
(well, other than the cheap Ikea furniture that they supply me & the under renovation toilet.)

After going to around singapore to look for a "dressing table" and shoerack.......
Finally had no choice but to go with Ikea.

And handy, ex-ME student Ms Lee, after many hours finally set up the darn dressing table. (only to break 2 screws along the way, hence the whole dressing table is 1 drawer short!)

This whole moving house thing is damn draining.....and my clothes and boxes are all over the room. Just like a hurricane blew past~~~

I have no time for other things.

Will update your guys on the House?room warming~

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

A Penny for my thoughts

As I take another big step in my life,
I pause and wonder~Am I doing the right thing?
It never occurred to me, what's wrong and what's right.
I never seriously took others' feelings into much consideration.

At the end of the day, it's my journey, my life.
We only get to live life this once.
By taking consideration other's feelings, At the expense of our own happiness,,
How right can that be?

Maybe it's selfish thinking.
Maybe this is what too much independence does.
Maybe it's just PMS.

Maybe I've seen too much of the ugly world.
To know that there are many out there just like me,
Selfishly thinking only for themselves.
If you compromise too much, you are just at the losing end.

It is such a fine line between kind-heartedness & being plain dumb


Ahhh.....such bitterness.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Monday, February 09, 2009

Locked out

Yes, before I can even move out of this place, I got locked out~

First ever time I got locked out and had to pay $80 to unlock the damn door!I shall treat it as a goodbye present. What an expensive present~ (to myself)!

And so, I called up and smsed a few of my friends while I was practically franctically banging and shouting.

It is amazing at how different people handled the situation differently.

I guess wisdom and steadiness comes with age. Really.

The older guys, gave totally different answers and were cool, calm and collected. Even managed to give me step by step instructions on what to do despite me whining and grumbling. I really felt calm and secure.

At the end of the day, no matter how tough a cookie I am, I am still a woman waiting for that man's touch and security. (think damsel in distress)

I love it when a man orders me around. (terms and conditions applies)

But thanks to all who came to my rescue, one way or another. I am really, sincerely thankful and glad of such wonderful bunch of friends who are there when needed!!!! *muacks*

_____________________________

yes i know the song is a tad un-juu.

but I'm dancing and singing to lady gaga's songs.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

To Do: Buy a Bible

To Do: Buy a Bible

Been pretty engrossed with Feng Shui stuffs recently. To the extent where I bought the Lilian Too book. And was further interested when my colleagues went on a Feng Shui shopping spree, spending hundreds.

Call me supertitious, but I do have a tendency to believe in such luck/energy. And I found it harmless to read about it, make minor changes to my workspace/my life. Afterall, how much harm can moving 5degrees of your computer cause?

Apparently, it is not so much on whether you buy these Feng Shui items, but more on your beliefs. It's one thing to read up and learn about these Feng Shui-ness, another to practise them.

I was tempted to buy all these small charms to enhance my luck and also to ward off bad, evil luck/forces. Googled and online shopped on what items "Rats" should buy, since it is said we will be affected by the Five Yellow.

Till I read about this "Buddha Amitabha’s Mantra Ring with Black Cord" in which I immediately felt uncomfortable with the Buddha-ness. Morever, I had to CHANT some chants 108 times a day to invoke blessings.

That was when it dawn upon me that I, as a "christian" should not be doing such stuffs! I know I havent been attending churches and reading and praying regularly. But I somehow still believe, and would like to categorize myself as a "christian".

Now I am in a dilemma as to go ahead with getting these charms.

Afterall, who doesn't want good luck? Who wouldn't want to be safe and happy, not only for themselves but for their loved ones?

I mean, if someone tells you that by jumping up and down 3 times a day would bring you good fortune and health. Would you?

And if someone tells you that getting out from the left side of the bed will cause misfortune to your family. Would you get off from the right?

To what extent do we draw this line?

Dilemma, dilemma......

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On a seperate note, I am confused by some other "things".
It is hard to analyze people; be it work or personal.
Are there any easier way to read people's mind?
But then again, what fun is it if you can read through everyone's mind.

Interesting discovery:
Guys are stupid.
How difficult is it for you guys to comprehend something simple as "Leave Me Alone"?
Explicitly spelt out "Leave Me Alone" at that!


Well, I guess first thing I gotta do tomorrow is to get a decent Bible and start reading.
Cf. Deut 18:10 ; Jer 29:8

Monday, February 02, 2009

Good Days

its been a while eh~

Things have been good.

Too good in fact.

I feel uneasy when my life is too smooth-sailing.

It feels as if something bad will happen, and it all comes crashing down.

Am I being overly pessimistic?





Some updates:



  1. I bought my very first LV. (I love it very much!)
  2. I just signed a new lease for my new apartment room. (It was love at first sight!)
  3. My teeth is moving perfectly (or so I think). (Amazingly enough, my center gap has closed significantly!) --> However it feels as if my chin is protruding outer and outer.

  4. I am "getting back together" with Jo (JUST as friends).

  5. I have terminated my M1 contract and stick to Singtel iPhone. (I 'heart' my iPhone)

Things have been going too smoothly.

I have been getting whatever I wish for.

They say: When things come too easily, will go off easily.

That's what I'm afraid of.

But at the same time, I am thankful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I guess this is just my emo Post-MS mood.

But really I am. I am thankful. So blessed that I don't even feel I need a guy!

Gosh, V day is here again!
The horror for all singles. So much so, that they termed it "friendship day".

I got a feeling Jo will ask me out, but nevertheless, my "Friendship Day" is free for balloting/invites!!!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Shoes Glorious Shoes~


My new babies that join my beautiful collection today~


My new, not-even-1-month-old babies lined up~


My SHoey Shoie Heelie heely collection
(missing some at office & old place & some too ugly/old)



Lovely heels~~~


I love love love heels. I wouldn't exactly describe myself as tall, but at 169cm + 10cm, I can conquer the world!!

One day I want to have a Walk-in Shoe cabinet (on top of my Walk-in clothes/bags closet)!!!!!!

As for now, I have to make do with the small corner of my room...... or does anyone have a better shoe keeping idea?

After that long MC break, back to work tomorrow`

Before that, one must do the important ritual of brushing and rinsing~

revealing my very first braces picture!




Sunday, January 11, 2009

Post Op

Alright, enough of cutesy stuff.


I'm way too old for all that Ponyo shit.
Bossa Nova is more my kind.


Wisdom tooth surgery went pretty well, I guess. Afterall it's the director plucking my tooth.
Just hope that it won't turn out to be a dry socket.

But weight-wise, there was a drop....then after all that whipped potato & ice-cream indulgence, its almost back to square one.

Its really interesting how your weight really moves with your daily activities!
Not just weight, but the fats content.

No eating = -1.5kg (of fats)
Exercising (1hour) = - 0.6kg (of fats)

Really interesting.
So if i dont eat and exercise I would lose 2kg of fats in a day!

Not to worry, I'm not some crazy person suffering from Anorexia nervosa.
I'm just deprived as I can eat hard solid MEAT! which is in a way driving me crazy~

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

Pre-Operation Entry

before i begin anything, lemme act cute (for once) by using this cute blog with this adorable PONYO PONYO PONYO song!!!

Wow, been blogging quite frequently these days eh~

This time round, I wish to virtually pen down my feelings and thought before my operation.

HAHA....yeah yeah yeah....I'm just being irritating exagerating tomorrow's wisdom tooth extraction and braces fitting.

My colleagues just gave me a bad scared. One-by-one they come and tell me how painful its gonna be. How GIGANTIC the needles are. How loud the drills are. How numbing and painful the after-effects are.

What I initially thought of as a no-biggie has suddenly turned into a BIG-BIGGIE! No sweat man~! There's nothing too tough Ju can't handle. But honestly speaking, I'm a little, just a teeny weeny bit scared.

But what's concerning me more is the 5 day MC!!!!!! Hooray!!! NOT! I dislike taking MC when it's such a crucial period for me to be out there making business!! But I thank God for bringing in my very first Business for 2009 just like that. And I am certainly not taking things for granted.

It is really crucially important to be thankful for even the smaller things in life, not to mention the bigger things.

My life, I wouldn't say it's very smooth sailing. But I tell myself to always look at the brighter side and tell myself that every failure is just another opportunity to prove myself to myself once more. Interestingly enough, my colleague was asking me what the phrase "when life throws lemon at you, you make lemonade" means. And after explaining, I realized the amount of lemons thrown at me throughout my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and of cos the amount of lemonade I made!!!!!!!!

Maybe I'm born to make lemonades my whole life~ Gosh. Should i cry or should i be happy?

Well, I wouldn't say life has been totally brutal to me. I've got lovely parents whom I love dearly (albeit a little over-the-top naggy), and an equally naggy sis, with a wonderful layout of friends. Sadly (or should I be glad) no boyfriend/spouse/fiance/husband or whatever you might like to call it.

But I do have(or rather had) my fair share of "romances" in 2008; Mr Ah-beng car, Mr. Re-bound, Mr. Agent, and our all time favs; Mr. German and Mr. Lawyer. Whom......oh-well, let's just say the interest just died and there came upon a time where I thought things should just end for the better.

And when the balance of the relationship changed, it was time to end. I wasn't prepared. I cannot accept. I wasn't about to lose my rights as an individual, independent woman. I wasn't about to be labelled as someone's woman. I could not get over the 'gift vouchers' and 'cab fares'.

Instead of this being THE pre-op entry, it has become some ranting of a teenage girl.

Ok, I need to continue ranting. This feels good!

On second thoughts, time to sleep for my body to be fit fit fit for the op!!!!!!


Ponyo OST -

Monday, January 05, 2009

Usher 2009

Gosh! I can't believe that my blog song is still singing the CHRISTMAS song!~

obviously I'm still living in 2007~ (ya, i know it should be 2008/2009 ah...watever~)

Hence I changed it to some Bossa Bossa Nova songs~ Love it love it!

a few resolutions made this year and/or rather late last year!

1. NEW TEETH!! I really thank a certain person for constantly encouraging me to go for it despite my constant procrastination. well! i'm finally doing it when yours is out!!!

This Wednesday is THE DAY for me! Torture DAY 1!!! *crosses fingers everything goes all right!



2. LOSE WEIGHT! I know I have been saying this EVERY year but this time, really gonna make it work. For starters i bought the weighing/fat scale.

And Bravo! I have been taking readings EVERY day!! not a very good start judging from the chart, but there's always room for improvement!!



3. LOVE! Love my family, love my friends, love my neighbour. I really need to put in an effort to care for the people around me.



4. SAVE! yes, I do admit I have not been very frugal the past few months. It's high time i started saving up for an apartment and stocks. I shall hit my first Million before 35!!! (is that a little too old? will KIV on the age)

But after i buy my prada phone. and my LV bag. and my Prada wallet. and.....and..... i guess its not going to ever end~



All in all, my ultimate aim, like my motto is to be a beautiful person inside-and-out.




With that my dear friends, let us welcome in 2009 and may it be as good, if not even better than 2008!!!

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Goodbye 2008, Howdy 2009!



Yes, it was it. It was indeed a year full or events and happenings.

2008....I'm glad it was here and I'm glad it's over.

Really looking for more great challenges and opportunities this year!!

Check out my hot red heels~ love it love it!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Nerds Galore~~

It was a nerd-filled day!

Check out these geeks~ SPECTACLES ONLY!!




Chio chio~ amazingly, i can fit in my SAJC uniform~ i haven't aged one bit!!!!!!





Sales Sales~


Yeah....



more to come~

hotel stay, new hairdo, new sunnies..... i love my life~

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Some Pictures

Wow....time sure flies~ its already year end.
It seems like yesterday I celebrated the coming of 2008~

I know its a tad early to do my year-end summary....

but this has been a really roller coaster year for me. Emotionally, mentally, physically. It really marked a big BIG step in my whole life.

I thank for friends who stayed by me thick and thin.....and listened to my endless whinning....

Okies, shall stop here before i start blabbering non-stop.





























Monday, November 03, 2008

Thoughts.....

I've changed so much that I can hardly recognize myself anymore.

Whatever happened to all the values I once stick so closely to?

Things that I deem unmoral yesterday seems perfectly fine today.

Things that I detest so much before seems to be my new best friend now.

Were my values too strict to begin with?

Was I being overly naive and ignorant?

I lie back and think............

Sunday, October 26, 2008

My Thoughts

How many faces can one have?

Something happened today which made me wonder.
It is pretty saddening and made me disgusted.
Which led to on-and-on to the following.....

Who do we live for?

Are we living for others?
Living everyday, doing everything to impress people.
Some of whom you even detest?

Why is change the only constant thing?

Why do even human change?
So drastically till unrecognizable.

Selfish-ness is ugly

So are shallow-ness, greed and superficiality
But that's human?

Why do we all grow up?

Babies are such adorable creatures.
Children are lovely bubbly source of happiness.
Adults....?

Why do some people want to be right....ALWAYS?

I used to live by my own rules,
Disapproving of certain things and behaviour.
But who are we to judge?
What makes me more righteous than a murderer?


I have decided to take a different approach to life and make all things easier.
I will learn to appreciate my surroundings more and be a little more You